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Doctor Strange has never won a single fight in the MCU. I rewatched all the tape and thoroughly studied the film. His record is so stinky. The only thing he’s good for is being super sassy and pouring people drinks, I guess. Bro, are you Doctor Strange or Doctor Pepper? Across all the movies he’s been in, he’s been silently dropping stinker after stinker after stinker, including, of course, the worst stat(statistic) line by a major MCU character in history. But, more on that in a bit. Now, because of the cool
dropping stinker 像shit一样
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VFX and the swirly hand movements, no one can see through him. No one can see that he’s a fraud. No one except for the internet scientist, that is. But, the agenda doesn’t fund itself. Subscribe today, or else. >> [music] >> How’s it going, easy? Doctor Dulio. >> I have to say it as it is. Doctor Strange, YOU ARE A LOSER, BRO. >> THIS GUY is a sorcerer with no bag. >> Doctor Strange, we need you to do something besides opening portals and going into the mirror dimension.
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This is all I got. >> I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is not it. Strange has never beat anyone by opening a portal, and he hasn’t beat anyone by going to the mirror dimension. And when I tell y’all he has no bag, it goes beyond sorcery. >> This brother gets dubbed by the same girl in every universe. She has a policy where she doesn’t sleep with co-workers and named it after him. That’s his legacy. This brother is stuck in a multiversal friend zone. He said, “I
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love you.” in every universe to Shorty, and she just looked at him like, “Damn.” and went on to marry a black dude with no haircut on his wedding day. BRO, ARE YOU DECENT, BRO? YOU COULDN’T GET A LITTLE TAPER FADE FOR THE WEDDING, YOU BUTT? WHO THE HELL EVEN IS THIS GUY? THIS BROTHER IS WALKING AROUND with the Super Smash Brothers expert archetype, and he’s stealing your girl. Strange, you got to lock in. All those spells you got, and you can’t recreate the magic of a black man?
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[laughter] >> I mean, I guess not. But, y’all think I’m joking when I say he drops stinkers in every movie he’s been in. I can show you better than I can tell you. He starts off his own movie driving around like a nut and crashing the Lambo. This crash was entirely his fault. He’s got his eyes glued to the damn car plate. How do you hit somebody and you’re the one that flips over? He literally pit maneuvers himself and Simone Biles the win. You’re in a Lambo, just zoom past
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this random, hello? And when no one can fix his hands, he crashes out on Regina George like it’s her fault he can’t drive, bro. Regina George, you’re looking for a doctor who will actually treat you right, not this strange fellow over here? And you know, spoiler alert for the second movie, but I know you like guys with that Super Smash Brothers architect. I can stop seeing my barber if you want, that’s totally in the cards. Then, like every other white dude going through a midlife crisis, Strange
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heads east to the mountains of Nepal where he finds a bald woman and this very pragmatic black man, Mordo. And like the entitled prick that he is, he tries to impress the Ancient One. Bro, do you think you can impress the Ancient One? Mind you, from his perspective, this is a regular degular bald woman who’s about to push up on her. WHAT’S UP, GUY? YOU’RE A BOT. THEN SHE HITS HIM IN his chest and gets him super faded. They get him hooked on the psychedelics no jutsu and then they throw his ass
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out. And if it wasn’t for this very pragmatic black man, Mordo, Strange would be toast. Then, when they let him back into Kamar-Taj, he gets some serious favoritism. Obviously, he’s going to become a little bit nice after getting private personalized lessons from the Ancient One. They weren’t doing this for any of the OTHER STUDENTS. SHE LITERALLY SHOWS HIM how to use the mirror dimension, a whole ass dimension. Basically, a domain expansion, bro. It’s got to be really strong, right? No, this
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move has never worked. Literally, not once. I rewatched every single time he’s used this move. It has never gotten the job done, ever. You can keep this move, bro. We’re good. This guy is such a teacher’s pet, he gets Wi-Fi at Kamar-Taj. They’re letting him email the huz? He’s sliding in the EMs? EMs is slang I created as opposed to sliding in the DMs. Feel free to use this and you don’t need to credit me, either. I should mention that throughout this movie, emo Hannibal Lecter has been
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running around being a big meanie and not treating others how he’d want to be treated. However, this would all change when he arrives to the New York Sanctuary and finds out that it is protected by the mighty Daniel. See, the thing about Daniel is he’s no regular sorcerer. You know how we get down in New York, B? Word to my mother. Nah, Blaine, he’s a bum. Strange, who was watching this happen in the corner, realizes he isn’t built for this life and runs away. But they catch him, so he has to fight. It’s only like
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Strange’s third day out here. I don’t know, but he’s putting up a much better fight than Daniel did. They were just letting anybody be the protector of New York City. I’m not even going to hold you. Kamar-Taj is filled with a bunch of 10-day contract [ __ ] There is not one real heavy hitter in Kamar-Taj gang. All of these guys are free food. When Emo Hannibal Lecter has Strange on the ropes and all hope looks lost, he gets saved by the cloak. The cloak carries Strange all the time. Can you imagine being
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carried by your clothes? Imagine if the only way you could bag shorties was if you were in designer head to toe. So, after getting carried by the cloak and putting Emo Hannibal Lecter in chains. Quick note, this is not a Doctor Strange win. This is in the books as a cloak win, all right? Strange lets this dude escape anyways cuz he gets caught lacking by a guy with no name. Literally a substitute gym teacher giving Strange work. And y’all want to come out here and tell me this guy is nice. Yeah,
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right. He has to get saved by the cloak again. Then he teleports to his old situationship. I sure wish I had a portal that took me straight to my old situationship. I remember how impressed she was when I would burp really loudly in public. Those were the days, man. Uh [clears throat] where were we? Uh Doc Doctor Strange is a bum. Can you imagine being the type of guy to pop out of your own body like Star Platinum to impress the huss? Like she’s not letting you hit just because you can astral
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project and backseat drive the surgery, dog. Spoiler, she marries a top 25 ranked Smash Bros player in the state of Rhode Island. And then the substitute gym teacher from earlier also uses his stand power and starts giving Strange the business. Dude, this is just like JoJo no Kimyo na Boken My Dyskino Anime. Oh, I Oh, I you guys don’t speak Japanese. I meant JoJo’s Adventure, my favorite anime. But obviously Strange can’t beat the substitute gym teacher, so fine [ __ ] has to hit him with this
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heart zappy thingy. I forgot what it’s called so we can win. This is also not a Doctor Strange win. This is a win for Regina George. The guy literally loses to the chest zappy attack, meaning she did all the damage. This man barely survived the substitute gym teacher, and as soon as he gets back, the Ancient One wants to promote him to be the new master of New York. Kamar-Taj is a deeply unserious organization. Strange has been a sorcerer for all of 15 minutes, and you want him to be a master now? It’s no
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wonder Daniel got done up so crazy. He probably got a win during Kamar-Taj trivia night to be promoted to a master. These guys are all fraudulent. Then emo Hannibal Lecter spins the block right away, but Strange takes him to the mirror dimension. Remember when I told y’all that this move never worked? He literally gets out-mirrored by Hannibal and has to run away. Strange and the very pragmatic black man Mordo are doing some really bizarre parkour in this high-stakes game of tag. Strange, you’re
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it. Luckily, Strange gets saved by the Ancient One who aura farms on these electricians and plumbers, but then gets shish kebabbed by Kaecilius through his own guy. The Ancient One has one fight and one loss. Dang, you are straight grits. It’s no wonder Kamar-Taj is full of bums, bro. Who do YOU THINK THEY LEARNED IT FROM? The Ancient One is only ancient cuz she’s been hiding in the mountains from all the real heavy hitters. Where were you during the Captain America movie when the Nazi Kool-Aid Man was wreaking havoc in the
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streets? WE’RE CALLING YOU THE HIDDEN one from now on, DOG. YOU’RE A FRAUD. All Strange and Mordo can do is watch while their big homie gets walked out. And as the Ancient One is dying, her and Strange have a super chill, super laid-back astral projection deep talk about life and whatnot. And then she dies nonchalantly. And don’t hate me for this, but when I heard that Strange trained in the mountains of Nepal with the Ancient One, and I visualized that in my mind, I just didn’t think white
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woman. Look, I’ve never been to Nepal, but I mean, come on, man. The wise mystical monk in Nepal is just some damn Brit. Oh, bro, if the Ancient One, innit? it, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? NOW, the climax of this movie. Mordo and Strange get to Hong Kong and it’s already destroyed. So, they use their iPod and replay replay. These guys are fighting while everyone around them is hitting the reverse like in 2016, which funnily enough is exactly when this movie came out. Mordo takes Kaecilius and throws him into a wall, which
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obviously doesn’t count as a Strange win. Then Strange wants to be a Karen and instead of dealing with the employees, he goes to talk to the manager. And isn’t it the most Doctor Strange way to end his movie by losing on repeat? This guy truly is a loser, man. Dormammu just fries him over and over again. Then eventually Dormammu gets bored and agrees to take his minions away. AND THERE IS NO UNIVERSE where this counts as a win for Doctor Strange. He was just being annoying. That’s like being overly persistent with
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the huz. >> [music] >> Like if she eventually gives you her number after you ask 15 times, we’re not counting that as a win. Move around, bro. So, Strange ended his movie by not getting back for his big homie, not getting a single solo dub. He was carried and bailed in every fight. Bro, what does he even do? The next time we see Strange is in Thor Ragnarok, where he kidnaps Loki and uses his magical abilities to promote bad habits such as day drinking to the young impressionable
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Marvel audience. Look at all this magical zippity zoo that he’s doing on Thor. There’s going to come a time where we’ll need some of the zippity zoo, but Strange prefers to only use his zippity zoo to impress Thor in this cameo. You would think this guy’s bag is so deep the way he’s talking to Thor right now. Real ones know when it’s crunch time, this brother is nowhere to be seen. So, when Loki comes back after he got kidnapped, obviously Strange ducks the fade. And speaking of ducking the fade,
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this guy’s cut is weak sauce. First of all, the connected goatee is wack. Real ones know all the handsome men like Johnny Depp and Michael B. Jordan and Doctor Dulio and Brad Pitt, they all go wireless on the goatee. And second of all, this little parallax skunk skid mark, whatever’s going on on the sides, it stinks, bro. Now, the next time we see him after that is in Avengers: Infinity War when Thanos sends his young is to NYC to catch a hat. Where did my mother? Tony, Wong and Strange start
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boxing two of Thanos’ children, Ebony Maw and Black Dwarf. Black Dwarf, huh? Strange and Voldemort start having a wizard off which Voldemort wins cuz obviously. I think I’ve made it clear that Strange is very sorry and he has to get saved by his cloak. Oh, yeah. And then right after that he has to get saved by Spider-Man. Like bro, this guy is a damn burden to the team. How are you the Sorcerer Supreme? You out here getting saved by a team. You need to get some damn shaving cream. And some weird
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ass Squid Game ass looking barnacle ass looking [ __ ] just kidnapped you with ease, okay? All right, I admit I lost my flow a little bit at the end. But man, this guy just pisses me off, bro. Meanwhile, mind it, Wong just sauced up the other guy and cut his hand off. Wong, you’re invited to my wedding. Strange gets kidnapped by Ebony Maw and wakes up suspended upside down in the air about to get acupunctured in an alien sex dungeon. Luckily for Strange, Iron Man shoots Voldemort into [ __ ]
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outer space. And then Strange will have the nerve to get lippy after Tony just saved his ass from kiki time with Voldemort. Bro, you can’t save your ego. Just say thanks, big bro, and keep it pushing. I hate when bench players talk like starters, man. Then when Star-Lord runs up on them and they’re having a standoff, Strange really puts the stand in standoff. He just stands there and doesn’t do anything. You can’t fool me with this pose and the glowing hands. We can see you, bro. We know you’re
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useless, bro. Cloak is the one who got Drax up out of there. But this was all just one big misunderstanding. So after they communicate that, they try to come up with a plan to beat Thanos. Now, what do y’all think Strange is doing during this very important brainstorming session? He’s doing harmful substances. DON’T SMOKE INFINITY STONES, KIDS. This brother is in the corner of the function making everyone uncomfortable. He looked forward at 14 million futures and only won one of them. Like isn’t that just
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Strange’s luck? What a loser, bro. You couldn’t find any good futures for us, bro? I’d probably find one on my first or second try. Bro, but imagine if you did some magic stuff and like zippity zoom Thanos up out of here. Oh, what was that? Your magic only works to refill Thor’s beer? Oh, okay. Oh, that makes sense. Never mind. Oh, and by the way, Thanos is here. So, the fight breaks out and they’re all jumping the hell out of Thanos. And Cloak starts carrying again. When they’re finally able to hold him
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down with the power of friendship, we all know what happens. Strange is not the one who sells, I’ll admit that. Star-Lord, YOU ARE A BOT. IT IS so over. Thanos starts tearing everyone up. He’s out here throwing meteors. Now, he’s doing too much, bro. Then Thanos and Strange start running the ones. Okay, get in your bag, man. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT. YO, WHY WASN’T HE DOING these moves before when they were jumping Thanos? He saw the future. Knew everyone was going to get snapped and saved his best moves
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for his solo mixtape. THIS GUY IS SO WEIRD. We’ve never seen Strange turn attacks into butterflies. Were you saving this move for the next world-ending crisis? I don’t get it. And here we go with the mirror dimension gimmick. Remember when I told y’all this move never worked? Thanos just punched right through it. Strange makes an army of arms, then a strange army. Stuff like this is what we want to see out OF YOU, BRO. SHADOW clone jutsu into the whipping nae nae. Yea, ye, yea. Y’all
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got to remember that this movie came out in 2018. People were definitely doing that in 2018, I think. The years are all becoming one to me. I think I’m getting old. Time is a flat circle. Thanos chokeslams Strange through a table and this fight is over. And right as Fat Chin is about to off Iron Man, Strange folds and gives him the stone. Then I’m not going to lie, he gets his ass snapped away. So, in this movie, he had another two losses to Ebony Maw, another two losses to Thanos, and he lost the
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aura off with Iron Man on the ship. His record is getting grim. And I’m not even going to count the fight against the Guardians as a tie or whatever for him cuz he literally didn’t do anything. It was all Cloak. He was a complete non-factor. All the while, Wong has been putting up sneaky good numbers off the bench. You cannot be getting out performed by Wong, bro. He doesn’t come back until the end of Endgame. Sling ring man opens up a bunch of portals and does nothing else. How I look at bro
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when he has to talk to the torta on a tourney. Disclaimer, if you are a super fan of Doctor Strange, just cover your eyes cuz his Spider-Man cameo is the worst performance I’ve ever seen in my life. So, for starters, he lost his job title of Sorcerer Supreme, gets his chain snatched by Wong. Do you know how easy it is to get a promotion at Kamar-Taj? They made Strange a master after a week and a half, and he didn’t have big shoes to fill, either. They had men like Daniel out here running around
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protecting New York City. And Strange gets demoted, and I’m what? Not going to call HIM A BUM? GET OUT OF HERE. THEN, he messes up and fumbles the spell and causes the whole damn movie. And no, I’m not blaming Spider-Man for this, bro. Okay, I am a little bit. But Strange, you’re an adult and he’s a little kid. You got to be better about explaining this stuff to him, especially with such a dangerous spell. You should have made it clear what would happen, maybe even had him sign a waiver, give him some
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terms and conditions. This is very much your fault. Then, when Spider-Man’s villains travel to the universe and he needs help capturing all of them, he gets pressed by MJ into saying “Please” and begging for help. Also, what the hell does “Scooby-Doo this shit” even mean? This might genuinely be the worst line in the history of the MCU, AND I’M NOT KIDDING. I REMEMBER watching the trailer all those years ago, hearing this line, and cringing so bad. Then, Strange tries to kill all the multiverse
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Spider-Man villains, which, I’m not going to lie, is exactly what I would do. But Spider-Man isn’t going for that, so they have to fight, and he PUTS UP A stinker. NOW, LET me ask you this. What situation is worse to be in as a grown man? Is it A, having to fight a high schooler, or B, losing a fight to a HIGH SCHOOLER? CUZ STRANGE DID BOTH. THIS GUY IS ACTUALLY PUTTING up a generational master class in this movie, a step-by-step tutorial in what not to do as a cameo. But now, it’s weird wizard
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versus bug boy time. He is some with that little astral projection thing and can’t even take the box from Spider-Man’s unconscious body. What are we doing here? >> Here’s an idea. Maybe if you actually try to grab the box instead of doing this wibbly wobbly you’re doing, >> that might work. But it wouldn’t be a Doctor Strange fight if he doesn’t get carried by the cloak. >> Oh, yeah. And he’s able to throw Peter into the mirror dimension. >> And you think it’d be over from here,
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right? >> The mirror dimension, where I’m in control. >> Bro, he got sunned by Spider-Man in his own domain expansion. Just cuz what? Spider-Man’s good at math? >> THIS IS SO FRIES, GANG. >> ALL SOMEONE needs to be able to beat you in the mirror dimension is to know high school algebra? >> So, emo Hannibal Lecter beat you in the mirror dimension cuz that’s where he draws his power from. >> Thanos beat you in the mirror dimension, but I guess that’s Thanos.
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What reason do you have to let a high schooler who can jizz out of his hands beat you in the mirror dimension? >> WHO IS THIS MOVE MEANT TO BEAT? IT HAS NEVER WORKED. >> Aren’t you in control? >> All Spider-Man needed to beat Strange was pie. >> CUZ STRANGE IS SWEET AS [ __ ] >> Spider-Man steals his sling ring and leaves him there all tied up, which is the second time Strange has found himself tied up and suspended in the air and vulnerable in a tickle fight.
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Yo, this guy is really freaky and strange. >> He doesn’t come back till the very end. He caused everything that happened in this movie. And then he got benched for the whole movie. This is a disaster. >> Then, finally, he casts a spell to make everyone forget Peter Parker. But he probably only did THAT TO MAKE HIMSELF forget this terrible performance, bro. There was probably another way to reverse this, but he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if he could remember everything that happened.
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And speaking of Strange not being able to sleep, let’s talk about Strange’s other solo movie, where he spends the whole movie getting his ass whooped. >> Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is not a Doctor Strange movie. >> It’s actually a Wanda or a farm hype moments and or a mixtape montage. >> She’s got smoke for everybody. Anybody can get it. Americans, Mexicans, Africans, Wong. >> Yeah, I’m not going to lie, this joke doesn’t really work.
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Doctor Strange starts this movie off with a man bun doing the most Doctor Strange thing ever, losing. This brother got packed up in like the first five seconds of his movie. Meanwhile, back on 616, our Doctor Strange is suffering a fate even worse than death. He has to go to Regina George’s wedding and pretend he’s happy for her. You know, I almost feel bad for him staring longingly at fine [ __ ] Just go ahead and ask her to project yourself into the Sneako chair for me, boss man. I’m still hung up on
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the fact that she really married a dude who couldn’t even get a lineup for his wedding day. Strange, you lost to no comp. That makes it so much worse. If it was someone like Marlon who took your girl, you charge that to the game. I mean, that’s Marlon. BUT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST SOME REGULAR GUY. OH, but did y’all peep how he poured her a drink with magic? Chills, bro. Chills. Keep this up and you might be promoted from >> [music] >> master of the New York Sanctum to master
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of drinks at the bar like like a bartender. I’m saying you should be a bartender. I’m not sure if that was clear or not or even if y’all found that funny, if y’all liked that joke. You know, it’s hard because you’re telling jokes to the screen. You can’t really tell when people laugh and you know, Luckily for Stephen, the wedding gets interrupted by this big ass eyeball trying to stare menacingly at America Chavez. So he has an excuse to leave early. He flies in then gets laid out by
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Is that Vel’Koz, bro? With Strange down for the count, Wong has to come in and save the day. Nah, I’m just playing. Wong gets done up too. The real MVP of this fight, Cloak. Oh, yeah. With the help of America and Cloak, Strange is able to stab the eyeball. Why do you have to do that, man? You guys couldn’t see EYE TO EYE? >> [laughter] >> IF YOU THINK I’M COUNTING this 4 v 1 versus a literal eyeball where America and Cloak carried, mind you, as a win for Strange, you’re out of your mind.
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But since this whole thing stinks of witchcraft and not sorcery, Strange goes to Wanda for help. She accidentally lets it slip that she’s been the one sending these monsters after America Chavez. She’s the villain of this movie. So they take America to Kamar-Taj to protect her. Gang, if I need protection and they send me to Kamar-Taj with these AI generated sorcerers. Just get my tombstone ready. Here lies Dulio. He had aura. >> Wanda is so gangster, bro. She pushing up on Strange like crazy. They literally
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had to call up every single sorcerer they got. >> Well, they brought in the protectors of the London and Hong Kong sanctums. >> I was on a team with a whole bunch of LA Fitness [ __ ] Nobody, no badges. We had an Mike, I’m sorry I got to say your name. You are the worst one of the worst hoopers in the whole country, bro. >> Wanda fries them all by herself. Look how she floats up on this >> dude. She know better than to whisper to me like that cuz I’m not running away.
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I’m jumping towards her like Foxy, man. >> Hello. >> Then Strange uses his Marvel Rivals shield. I love Marvel Rivals. >> She’s literally soloing everybody. How is this a Doctor Strange movie? Like I said earlier, this is a Scarlet Witch movie, bro. She just turned bro into alchemy dust. >> Then here come Doctor Strange with this mirror dimension gimmick. Let me ask you, dear viewer, do you think it worked? >> Wanda is going around doing all this for her kids that aren’t even real when I
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could give her kids that are real. >> And unlike the other dude at the beginning of this movie, I’ll actually get a haircut and have a fresh lineup. >> Wanda fries everyone, and here comes Strange running away ducking the fade. He’s trying to get as far away from Wanda as possible. He literally goes through every single universe. >> You’re not even going to try and box her a little bit? You can’t even make her sweat or nothing? >> To escape Wanda, he goes to the world if
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meme, Jurassic Park, Platoon. >> This guy’s shivering in his timbers. >> They pull up to this other universe. Then Doctor Strange and America rob this hardworking entrepreneur trying to provide for his family. They use evil magic to make him put mustard on his face and punch himself for 3 weeks straight. >> Is this how superheroes treat small business owners by torturing them with cruel and unusual magic? WHY DIDN’T YOU MAKE THANOS PUNCH HIMSELF FOR 3 WEEKS, YOU BOT? >> THEY MEET THIS universe’s pragmatic
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black man, Mordo, and he roofies Strange and takes him to prison. >> The Illuminati will see you now. >> The Illumin-whatey? >> THAT [ __ ] IS NOT FUNNY, BRO. >> THE ILLUMINATI ARE THE COLDEST GROUP, BRO, and Marvel needs to respect them. These guys are all so intense. All they do is squad up and take really hard group pictures and sit in dark rooms and ponder. Look at this picture, bro. This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Now, I’ve been glazing the
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Illuminati for the last 2 minutes. Wanda pulls up and turns them all into juice boxes in 15 seconds. This is just her movie, bro. She swiss cheese Professor X. She smoked cheese Captain Marvel. She string cheese Mr. FANTASTIC. SHE CHOPPED CHEESE CAPTAIN CARTER. AND BLACK BOLT, she turned his face into a nut sack. MAN, SHE DONE DICK CHEESE BLACK BOLT. And this is supposed to be a Doctor Strange movie. What? Cuz he’s fighting Mordo? Stop fighting this pragmatic black man AND GO FIGHT WANDA. HE’S
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LITERALLY BEEN RUNNING AWAY FROM HER THIS ENTIRE MOVIE. ALSO, this fight against Mordo doesn’t count as a win. He literally runs away. Strange, Regina George, and America Chavez go to the stained window universe to obtain the save the world book. But obviously, Wanda doesn’t let that happen. I bet Strange felt so safe when she threw him into another universe cuz he gets to be as far away from her as possible. In this universe, he meets Sinister Strange. Or as I like to call him, Incel Strange. He goes around the multiverse
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killing him- self in other universes cuz he can’t bag Regina George. Like, bro, are you good? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? AND BY THE WAY, SINISTER STRANGE, YOU ARE A BOT. HOW DO YOU LOSE TO YOURSELF BUT without the Darkhold while you have the Darkhold? You’re fries, gang. This music note fight was so cool. But think about this for a second. Strange’s only solo win ever is AGAINST HIMSELF. THIS DOESN’T COUNT. ALL HE DID WAS BEAT HIMSELF. In my younger years, I would do that all the time, multiple times a day.
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Get in the car. WE’RE LEAVING THIS TOWN NOW. IMPOSSIBLE. THIS ISN’T THE CARDS. >> STRANGE DREAM walks into his other body with Regina George literally telling him what to do. Yeah, how does that happen? The master of the mystic arts and she’s some random kid and she tells him how to beat Wanda? Strange, bro, I’m starting to feel bad. So, 2 hours into this movie [music] and he finally does something, anything to Wanda. He sends the souls of the damned after her. Obviously, Wanda
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doesn’t care about that. So, Strange gives America a speech, then she punches Wanda. Wanda doesn’t care about that either. So, America slanders Wanda’s reputation to her children. Wanda realizes she was tripping and sacrificed herself to destroy the Darkhold happily ever after. So, you’re telling me Strange didn’t beat her? The villain in this movie? America didn’t beat her either if we’re being honest. But, if anyone gets credit with this W, it’s America. Strange spent this whole movie
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running away from Wanda and went winless in this movie, too. The Sinister Strange win doesn’t count. Strange, YOU ARE A BUM. AND in the post-credit scene of this movie, he hears that Doctor Doom is coming and he FINDS SOMEWHERE TO HIDE. He’s been learning from the hidden one. Bro, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WE NEED YOU. DOCTOR DOOM IS COMING. HE’S NOT even on the promotional poster that just came out. This guy’s a magician, all right. For my next act, I will disappear. If Strange does anything noteworthy in the
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new Avengers movie, I’ll rebrand from Doctor Dulio to Doctor Strange. Actually, I don’t think I can do that. Disney would harvest my soul for copyright. I might do a cosplay or something. You know what’s really strange? How life can change cuz you got to stick to your range cuz uh yeah, that’s all I got. >> [music]