Quartz 4

i_was_once_in_a_doomed_yuri_love_triangle

20 min read

i was once in a doomed yuri love triangle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNV_CjwFq8c&t=37s

无作者

Hello, beautiful people of the internet.It’s no longer human here.Today, we are not telling a ghost story.I know the setup kind of looks like that.I am just at my desk.To celebrate Pride month,I am going to tell you guys a, story time of when I was in a, doomed yuri love triangle.Yes.Um, if you guys don’t know,if you guys are new to the channel, or like new to watching me or, just keeping up with me in general,I am pansexual, and that means I am attracted to people, sexually and romantically regardless of gender.So, guys,girls, gender queer people,whatever.Like, I I don’t care.Like, gender is not a factor to me when it comes to attraction.So, yeah,that’s that’s just the definition of that if you guys don’t know already.Um, so let’s let’s talk about how the doomed jury situation even happened.Okay, let’s just start from the very beginning.Um, I was in middle school.It was the summer before I started freshman year of high school.And that summer, I went to a dance class.Yes.

And guess what kind of dance class that was?It was a K-pop dancing class.At the time, middle school me was super super shy,super reserved.I had hair that covered half of my face.I always wore hats cuz I hated looking at myself.Um, yeah,it it was it was a dark time.Like actually it was actually kind of dark.Yeah.But I was like really really really really, quiet to a point like if someone talks to me like like I would just like, kind of be mute like I would not know how to respond and then I just like stare, like, like, kind of in like a, like it it comes off very very unapproachable and cold and kind of, aloof, I guess.So that summer the dance class,it was a K-pop dancing class, for your [clears throat] information, cuz I really like K-pop.Um I didn’t make any friends there for like, a month and a half and the whole the whole program was 2 months.Um so then towards the very end I somehow some some girl approached me and then, she introduced me to her friend and then, that girl let let’s give her a name.

Um let’s just call her Dion.Yes.So that, um and I clicked really really fast, like um it was just like instant connection cuz she was into makeup,K-pop, like we’re into the same stuff.Um more or less.Yeah.Cuz some of the kids were older, but she was like my age,so it was like awesome.And it’s like sometimes like when you like meet certain people,you just click with them just like that.Like it’s just like it just feels right.Like it doesn’t feel like uncomfortable to like try to talk to them.It’s just like you just get it, you know?So yeah, we were really close that summer.But then after that summer,like after the program ended and then we all went to school, back to school,like we got busy, so we didn’t really hang out,but we would like sometimes like talk on Instagram or whatever.But then like co happened.So then like I didn’t have any friends in school or outside of school.So then I was kind of just like by myself for a while.But I was happy with that cuz, like I didn’t have to interact.

with people and like that like, saved me low key cuz like at, the time I was so stressed because, like trying to fit in,trying to find like where I belong.It was just bad cuz I couldn’t make any friends that year.Um so then when, school shut down and then we were all remote I was like oh my god hallelujah, I don’t have to interact with people, and, um since I didn’t have friends, anyways like going to school, doesn’t feel as much as a chore.So then I was just like freeballing it.I was just playing Genchin Beran all that shazam.But then after a year of doing that, fast forward to sophomore year.Oh, I was getting I was getting really lonely.I was like, damn.Like, yes,I grinded every single quest in Genchin.But guess what?I still don’t got friends.So then I started like, interacting with like the people, on in like mutuals on Instagram, even more and I tried my best, to like talk to people,but you know, yeah,got very connected with the girl from dance class aka mode.So then.

um when COVID was like dying off and then like public spaces were being reopened, and then just have to wear masks and d, we went like shopping together, and then after that we just kept, playing games together, and it it almost felt like oh, like we never had that like period, of time that we didn’t talk to, each other.You know what I mean?Yeah.It’s just that instant kind of, connection type of thing where, you just feel like the other, person really other person really, gets you.So, then she introduced me to her Discord friend group and oh wow like, genuinely those people were like, probably like some of the best, people I’ve ever met.They were super inclusive of me.Everyone there were like we’re all queer, and at that time I was coming out and I was experimenting with my style.I went super short hair.I I literally grabbed a bowl and then just like did a bowl cut.Like I tried to do a K-pop like two block cut but like no.I just gave myself a really shitty bull cut.

Um, I could give you guys pictures you guys would want to see.But yeah, like it was very accepting.I genuinely felt like, oh wow,like this is the first time in my life I felt like I kind of belong somewhere.But then fast forward a couple months,the friend group had some falling, out and then it was like choosing, size and then since Don, was my RL,I chose her side.So then I got even closer to her, specifically her.Fast forward junior year, junior year.Near was it December or something?And she was talking about her crushes and I was like some dude and I was like, this pisses me off.But then I was like why does this piss me off so much?And then I realized [ __ ] I think I like her.So what, prompted me to confess to her was I was watching this one BL Japanese BL.It was like a really cute fluffy school life BL and then the main character,he was just like [ __ ] stupid and he was just he just wrote a little letter, and then um you guys probably, would find the BL but he wrote.

like a little thing said I like, you, on the eraser of something and, he was trying to or like a little, paper he was trying to give it, to this girl that he liked but, the girl thought it was, um it was for this guy, in front of her.So then she gave it to him and then said it’s from him.So then they got entangled and then, they actually fell for each other and then I was like,“Oh my god, that’s so cute.” So then I was like,“Oh, I should shoot my shot.I should tell Don how I felt.” So then I told Don, “So hey,I think I like you.” It was like the worst confession.I think I like sent it over Discord or something.I was like, I have no [ __ ] words,bro.I think my Okay, my cat is in heat,so she’s just been like yodelling a little.It’s I feel bad for her, but we’re going to get her neutered soon.Anyways, back on topic.Yeah.So, I confessed and then she was like,“Haha, no.” And then I was like, “Oh,ouch, that hurts.” But you know what?I I will have to take distance.

She said she would think about it for a couple of days.And then she came back to me and she was like,“I liked you back in the summer.” And I was like, “What?You like me back in the summer?” I was like, “What?” So,yeah.So, then I was like so happy.I was like, “Oh my god,wait.I have a girlfriend now.” So, like,oh my god, this is like I was so happy.I just remember telling all my friends, I was like,“Oh my god, like guys,she likes me back.What is going on?This is like a fantasy.Like, she’s my best friend.She likes me back.” And I was like, “Oh.” Like,I was so happy.I was over the moon and like so joyful.And then we hung out.We went on dates.A week later, she was like,“Hey, I have the only thing I have to say.” And she was like,“Actually, I only see you as a friend.Like I thought I had romantic feelings for you, but no.But no, it was just platonic.So then I was like, “Oh.” Oh.So that hurt like way more.It was so hard for me to get over that cuz I was like, “Damn,

like I really got my hopes up, you know?” And [snorts] then I was just like,“Yeah,I I think I need some space to, get over my feelings for you, so then we could still be friends.”, So I took space.I didn’t talk to her for like a month.And every day at lunch, I was telling one of my other gay friends,I was like, “Oh my god,why does why does that [ __ ] walk me?” Yeah, it was like it was it was a mess.It was a mess.And then um after that, we played Valerant together.And then we hopped on a call.I felt like I felt better.Like I thought like, “Okay,I could still be friends with her.Like I think I’m kind of getting over those feelings, so we can we can play Valerant or games together again.”, But then um she invited this one girl, and then I didn’t really know what to think of her.But then like Don left the VC first.So then I was stuck with the, other girl and we’re still in, a game and I was like h, and then me and the other girl.Oh wait, we need to give her a name.Okay, let’s let’s call her water.

Let’s call her water.Okay, so I was asking water.I was like, “Oh,how do you know Dion?” And then she was like, “Oh,like Baller and some like other mutual friends.” And I was like, “Oh,that’s cool.” Water told me that Dion, got into like a e dating relationship right after she broke it off with me.And then I was like, “Oh,what the fuck?”, And it’s some guy from like England and it’s a sis it’s a sis guy.I was like, “Man,what the fuck?” Okay, by the way,also back then I was I was also very androgynous.Just just telling you guys.I was like, “This is crazy news.What the [ __ ] I I can’t believe that happened.” I was like, “Damn,it just got replaced like that.That’s crazy.” And that that that really hurt.So then, um I kept talking to water cuz I was just like, “Okay,well, I guess we’re friends now,too.So, let’s play Valerant sometimes more.But then it was weird cuz like water like came off a little off-p putting, cuz when I joined her server,um she streamed my Instagramk.

to all her friends in the VC, and then start going through my posts, cuz back then I kind of did like social media but not like seriously.It was just like posting my hair, stuff cuz I change my hair like, every two months.Um she was like, “Oh,you used to get this many likes but now you only get this many.” Like damn.I was like, “Shit,girl.” Like, “Why are you doing that in front of all those people?That’s that’s like, that’s kind of rude or that’s just like off-putting, you know?Like, why do you care if I flop?Like I don’t know.That’s not that that’s that’s really none of your business, you know?Like, shouldn’t I care more about that than you?” But yeah,it was just weird.But then I still like play games with her cuz I was like, “Okay, well,she seems chill, I guess.” But that was like the first red flag,but I chose to ignore it.So, at this point,the rhyme is kind of out of the picture cuz I was just like, “Wow.” Like,I can’t believe she just like rebounded.

that fast or like she just she just didn’t care.I like I couldn’t comprehend it at the time.So, then what happened was this one girl from my school,she she was like, “Hey,we should play League sometimes.”, And I was like desperate to like, make new friends and stuff.So, I was like, “Hell yeah,like invite me.” And stuff.And then I got invited to Okay, this is all Discord,by the way.I got invited to another Discord server with her friends.And then like, oh,they were also really nice.It almost feels like a deja vu of what happened with Dima and her friend group.Wait, actually,now that I think about it, it literally is.It’s like a repeat.I met this one girl.Let’s call her Let’s call her um let’s call her phone case.Yes, I instantly clicked with Phone Case just like that.She’s from like Maryland and um she was cool.She was like really inclusive of me.I love people that are like that makes you feel included,especially in like, groups of people.

cuz like I don’t know I always have a really hard time talking to like, people in a group.So when other people are looking, out for you like hey like oh, what’s your opinion on this or, like asking you and like making, conversations so that you’re, like in it like that is so, thoughtful and sweet.So that’s why I really, like [ __ ] with her cuz I was like yeah I love people like that.She was like a super nonchalant avoidant girl.Yeah.So so yeah.So then I kept playing games with her.I played a little bit of League.I was I was like Yumi to her Cassiopia on bot lane.I didn’t know how to play League by the way.So I I was just a Yumi.So you guys you guys know how that goes if you guys are League players.But yeah, basically I’m just pocket staging pocket staging her.Um but I was happy.I was happy doing so cuz she was like my favorite person.I was like, “Yeah,hell yeah.” When February came around, I was like,“Shit, I I got nobody for Valentine’s Day.

This is kind of sad.” And I felt like at the time I started to like phone case.I was like kind of like phone, case but like not really like, I didn’t really know it, but like so then when Valentine’s Day came around I post on my story.I was like hey who want to spend Valentine’s Day with me platonically?Water jug all of a sudden popped into the picture and she was like hey, let’s let’s let’s go somewhere and I was like okay you know what?So then like we went to eat noodles and then McDonald’s.I think I don’t know.I thought we were just really friendly and like I said like oh platonically, on the story that I posted.It was so crazy to me because she handed me a love letter.She was like so I wrote this for you.Um don’t read it yet.Read it when you get home.And I was like oh my god what the [ __ ], Like she didn’t say love letter but she was like I wrote a letter for you.And I was like wait what?I was like so confused.I was like what is going on?what is what is going on here?Um,

so then I read it when I got home, and then it was like a really sweet love letter,but I was just like I, did not expect this at all cuz I did not see her in that way at all.And I thought she hated me like like slightly hated me.Like I thought she like didn’t [ __ ] with me that much.Like didn’t [ __ ] with me heavier cuz like, um she would poke fun at me and like the whole off-putting, thing where she stream my [ __ ] to like other people like Yeah.It was just like weird.It was just like weird.I I couldn’t understand it.I was like, “Sorry,like I don’t feel that way.I hope we could still friends.” Well, then yeah,it wasn’t that deep.So then we were just like chilling.Like friends still play Valerant together sometimes.But the thing is like these two haven’t met yet,but then like um I told Phone Case what happened.I was like, “Oh my god,I can’t believe this happened.” Like what is going on?Also, um Home Case is homeschooled,so she’s really bored.And then she likes to stir up.

[ __ ] She she likes to stir, up [ __ ] This is some foreshadowing.She was like, “Yo,you should invite water water to play with us on Valeran.It would be fun.” I was like, “What’s so fun about that?” And she’s like, “Oh,it’ be fun to troll her.” I was like, “What do you mean trolling?Like, we’re just going to play now.” And then I don’t know.I think at that time I I was like kind of like thinking like, “Oh,maybe I shouldn’t be friends with water, because like I think like the whole streaming my [ __ ] to her friends, like still bothered me.” So then I was like,eh, like I don’t know how I feel about her that much,but like she’s chill, I guess.But phone case knew like I kind of didn’t [ __ ] with her that much.So then she she kept telling me to invite her to like [ __ ] with me.It was just like weird.She was she was trying to troll me but also quotequote troll her.So it was weird.So then afterwards like I left I I left early.So then these two played together.And then guess what?

Those two became best friends all of a sudden.And then, just like one time phone cubes was telling me like, oh like if a friend confessed to me like I would just say yes, cuz like why not even though, if I didn’t have feelings for, them like I would just do it, for the plot and I was like huh, that sounds a little toxic.And actually that did happen with one of the people in the friend group.This one guy confessed to her and then, it was like a weird situationship, but then they say friends anyway so I was like okay whatever.And then this is so [ __ ] weird.Like now that I think about it, like what the [ __ ] was going on?When she said that, I was like, “Oh my god,I think she’s on to me.” I think, she knows that I kind of like, her cuz like why would she say, that?Like, just like impromptly, like that cuz like I felt like I gave some signs that like I liked her, so she’s like,“Yeah, I was just for the plot blah blah blah.” And I was like,“Fuck.”.

But I don’t want to say it out loud cuz like I already got rejected once.I’m like,“Am I going to get rejected twice or like be played with, like that?” So then I was like,“No, I cannot.” Um,okay.So, these two became best friends and then guess what happened?Water, like maybe a week after she gave me the love letter,um, phone case told me that water said that water likes phone case.And I was like, are you [ __ ] serious?cuz I was like, bro,cuz I wanted to tell Phone Case that I liked Phone Case,but then, water got in the way, but then water liked me beforehand and I was like,what is going on?What is actually going on?Like, what the [ __ ] is going on?Like, this can’t be real.This literally cannot be real.And then I was just like, okay,man, I give up.I give up on I give up on you, phone case.And then I kind of just also distanced myself from phone case.I was like, I can’t do this.I can’t keep getting hurt like this.I I, no why am I like, I keep getting replaced by the, by the person I like and I’m.

like oh this is like my biggest, fear and, to this day still is my biggest fear.Um we’re working on it.We’re working on it.I’m trying to like, not take things too personally even though it does feel pretty personal.But um yeah.Wait.After all that happened I still, met up with phone case cuz like, they did like a Discord meet, up.My first Discord meet up um cuz they’re from Maryland.They came to New York with her other friend.Uh the other friend that had a situation.Okay.Yeah.Kind of cooked, but like it’s it was literally high school.Like it’s not that deep.Yeah.She was like home school.So then like she had like time to come and um or maybe was it spring break.I think it might have been spring break.So then they came and then we hung out with the other people from the Discord, um that were from New York.So yeah, it was fun.It was fun.And then during the hangout I was like okay so are you guys a thing or something, and then Funky was like no I, don’t like her like she made, it sound like she hated her like.

like didn’t even [ __ ] with, her as a person but she just, like, continued being friends with her, um with water.I mean like just for the plot cuz she’s bored like some people do that.And then like at the time I couldn’t comprehend.I was just like why?Like huh?So then she kept reaching.She’s like, “Yeah,no, it’s not like that.It’s not like that.” But, clearly I was kind of like that with water and phone case.But um yeah, and then after that just completely just no nothing.No more.And that is the end of the Doom Yuri story.Yes.Um wow.It’s been so long.And then since then, I’ve I’ve been scared to talk to women.Honestly, it’s same with men.Men are also like that.Honestly, it’s the same with every single person.Everyone’s a hoe.Everyone’s a hoe.Genuinely, everyone in this generation is a hoe.roster, roster,blah blah blah blah situation.[ __ ] my life, bro.I’m so sick of this.I’m I’m just I enjoy being single.Do not approach me unless you have good intentions.Actually, just don’t approach me.

Just don’t.Just don’t.Yeah, I’m happy right now.too much [ __ ] Too much [ __ ] [ __ ] [laughter], But maybe like now I feel a little bit jaded.I’m like, “Ah,everything I’ve been through is just like what the fuck?”, And especially with men and male validation and all that [ __ ], Anyways,yeah, this is this is it.This is my story time.Um, thank you for watching,guys.Uh,next next video is going to be more, of me going outside, or it might be me getting a tattoo or it might be me piercing myself.I don’t know.But I impulsively booked a tattoo appointment tonight and um, yeah,it was very impulsive.I never even thought about really getting a back tattoo.Um, also neck back to my neck,upper back to my neck.Um,I saw this girl post it and she’s, like my favorite tattoo artist, and then I was like,you know what?Hell yeah, I’mma do it.So, let’s see if that even happens.I will vlog it definitely, but I have another vlog in the backlogs.I have actually a lot of vlogs in the backlogs, but we’ll see.We’ll see.

Thank you for joining in on my spooky, not even spooky,um, my story time.Okay, bye guys.

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