My Toxic relationship with my Bed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jc4F0I9n6E&t=136s
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Wake up.Wake up.You’re late for school.>> Mom, if you do not shut up right now,I swear to God I will jam this pillow up your >> Whoa there.
[T] ~ sth + adv./prep.to push sth somewhere with a lot of force 使劲（往某处）挤（或压、塞）
He jammed his fingers in his ears.A stool had been jammed against the door.
Well, I’ll get to that.See,you know back when you were little, and like the smallest things would terrify you?An ant crawls on your leg and you screech like a dying crow.Yeah, the world was new and exciting back then,huh?And then you became an adult and life was still exciting.No depresso espresso in my video.
Normally, depressed = feeling sad, down, or miserable.
depress-o is a humorous/slangy variation of depressed, often making it sound like a silly “thing” or condition.
“I’m feeling depress-o today.”
→ “I’m feeling really down/sad today.”
She’s like >> Nice throw.>> I was a very paranoid kid, a gullible one,too.[music] I remember I even believed in vampires back then,especially after I finished The Vampire Diaries.Oh,I scoured, around Google looking for a magical batch that would turn me into, an immortal looks maxer.
Here batch means a group/quantity of something made or collected together. Dictionaries define it as a group of things handled together or an amount produced at one time.
Give me your blood before I take it myself.I think it was more so wishful thinking, that carried my belief in vampires back [music] then,though.But you know what I also believed in that I really wish I didn’t.Living dolls.No, not not those living dolls.
[music] >> I’m talking Chucky.Yeah, dolls,they terrified me.Like, why do they always look so creepy?I swear those things were designed to give people nightmares.My room had this sofa [music] in it that could turn into a bed.It was yellow and when guests stayed over, they would use it to sleep in.What else?What’s important is that the sofa was filled, with stuffed animals [music] and dolls.Like, not even a single space left on the sofa.And guess what?The sofa faced my bed directly.I’m talking eye contact.But but but why didn’t I just turn around?I liked the right side, okay?Can a girl have preferences?Every night this is what I would see.Dozens of black-eyed, [music] lifeless little faces staring directly into my soul.Yeah, ain’t no way I’m sleeping.So, I did the very rational thing and I turned them around.Perfect.And I did this before bed every single night.Even pictures on the wall.Yes, they’re they’re not real.Of course, I know that.
The eyes aren’t actually looking at me, but it was unsettling as heck.I’d be doing that thing where I check in intervals, to see if [music] there’s any slight movement.I’m watching you.Do not move.Good.There’s just something about the night time that makes every unsettling, thought in your head awaken.Dolls come to life.Strangers are watching you through the window.Boogie men are under your bed, waiting for you to step off so, they can grab your ankles and, drag you into the underworld, with them.But, I also wouldn’t really have your typical childhood fears at night,either.There was also the existential dread.Here I am, 9 years old,laying peacefully, in my bed thinking that at some point my entire family will all pass away,including me,and no one really has an answer, as to why we exist or if there’s, any purpose to our existence,either.We’re just floating in this empty, void forced to find meaning in, our state of being because without, it,we would be devoured by the dreadful, thought that maybe maybe there’s.
no reason as to why we’re alive.You know, fun thoughts to have as a 9-year-old.And oh, and then we have the next category of [music] thoughts.Recalling embarrassing moments.Yikes.Even mentioning this will probably, activate your brains in search, of a moment you wish you could, wipe away with a magical Kleenex.Sorry.[music] I uh I had a hard time dealing with my own mind at times.[music] A memory of something, ultra embarrassing would appear in my head and I’d start researching, online on how I could change my identity.Hey, um you don’t perform memory loss surgeries,do you?I couldn’t cope with it.It just hurts too much.So much I would scratch, my head as a way to feel like I was shaking the memory out of my brain.Like a magical ritual dance.Memory away.Memory away.Memory away.Memory away.>> Remember a time when you wet, your pants and all the kids laughed, at >> Memory away.Memory away.Memory away.Oh, didn’t you confess to that guy once and all he said as a response was okay?
And then he left with his friend as if he couldn’t care less about, I’m doing the surgery.My mind just loved to terrorize me at night.Either by turning the objects in my room into evil monsters,reminding me I’m alive and questioning that a lot,or bringing me all the moments, I wanted to leave in the past, all for me to replay, and enjoy in 4K.So, uh no wonder it was hard for me to sleep.Troublesome thoughts have always, bothered me right before it’s, time for me to go to bed.So, what’s really helped me are the sleep masks from Manta Sleep.Recently,whenever I need a nap after [music] a busy morning or when I go to bed at night,I’ve been using the Manta Sleep sound mask.It’s really helped me shut my, mind off because it literally, blacks out all the light.So, when I put on the mask,it feels like I’ve sort of entered the zone.And it doesn’t hurt that I can also turn on nature sounds, or any other calming melody to make me feel extra, relaxed.Also,
one of my biggest pet peeves with sleep masks is that they squish your eyes.Help.They’re often so tight that it feels like you’ve been blindfolded, by some sketchy people.But with Manta Sleep,that hasn’t really been a problem since they have space for your eyes actually.I’ve even been using this to meditate and it’s honestly so relaxing all around.Genuinely, I highly recommend it.Visit Manta Sleep, click the link in my description,and use my discount code BLIFE LC for 10% off your sleep mask.Back to the video.[music] I didn’t really know how to cope with these loud and scary emotions.Um,so I did what any kid living in the 21st, century does and I brought forth my secret, weapon.Haha.Oh my.My baby.My everything.I even named him.His name was Hugo.A birthday present I will always remember and cherish to this day.The whole family came in clutch in order for me to get that iPad.I have no clue exactly when I got my iPad.You know what I do remember though?Is what I used him for.
[crying] >> Hi Blythe.Blythe.Blythe.Blythe.Oh, Hugo.Don’t worry Blythe.I will make all the bad thoughts go away.Thanks Hugo.You’re truly the best distraction in the world.I don’t know what I would do without you.Blythe, wake up.Go away.Blythe, you’re running late.Get up already.Quiet.Leave me alone you witch.What has gotten into my daughter?After Hugo entered my life, this became a regular occurrence.Blythe, you got to wake up.I’m awake.No, you’re not dear.I said I’m awake.I will get ready in 5 minutes.I promise.Just leave and I will come.I swear.[music] Bye.Are you ready?>> [sighs] >> Blythe.I became an absolute menace every, morning to the point I could, sleep talk my way out of being, woken up.I didn’t even remember it happening.It’s thanks to my mom I’m even aware this took place.My iffy history with sleep has been a pain ever since the iPad graced my life.Let’s stay up till 4:00 a.m.and completely ruin the Blythe who has to deal with tomorrow.Who cares?It’s not like she is me.
I hate you.Look at what you’ve done to me.Don’t worry.Just let Blythe day three handle it.Hey, you got to stop betting all your cards on me.Anyway, sleep is such a difficult thing to master in [music] this day and age.You know, with all the distractions everywhere.I’m pretty sick of having such, horrible sleep most [music] nights, and now that I’m older,I’m no longer afraid of ghosts or possessed dolls,but now it’s just it’s just so boring.I guess with social media, boredom has actually become the new boogeyman,but I don’t want to be a grumpy Blythe anymore as funny as she is.I mean, she legit don’t give a flying freak.[music] She’ll give you the finger easily.She will shove you to the side if you block her path.She will give you that cold as hell side eye even if you so dare as question, when she went to bed last night completely unapologetically as well.It’s only fun [music] for a little while until well,until people are just sick of you.
[music] And also, there are those negative side effects as well and all,you know, speeding up aging,heightened stress.But yeah, that was a little nugget of info from my sleep history.If you want any more stories about sleep, then let me know.Is there even more to share though?Eh, probably.All right, blobs.I’ll see y’all later.Bye.>> participate in the happy parade.I’ll slap a smile [music] across my face.Get some sun on this pale skin.Feel the freckles form as I’m giving in.I’m self-tanning.in the happy parade.
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